UNCLE DIRTY

RUMP OF THE WEEK

2008-09-06T01:15:00.000-07:00

Oh, lordy! Look at the beefed-up glutes on this fireman. I'll save my tacky joke about him sliding down a pole.

As our friends in the musclebear community would say... woof! (I'm so inclusive!)

Do you want to be RUMP OF THE WEEK? Send in your photos today!

THERE ARE NO WORDS...

2008-09-06T00:39:00.001-07:00

This, my friends is one of the hottest clips I have ever, ever seen.

Watch as a hot, muscular looking straight dude eats a wet cumload dripping out of a well-fucked pink pussy. Simply fucking amazing. Yes... there's vagina in this post.

Your dirty uncle can be found on twitter! twitter.com/UNCLEDIRTY

STRAIGHT COLLEGE MEN (Yeah, right!)

2008-09-05T09:40:00.000-07:00

I have been a fan of STRAIGHT COLLEGE MEN for a while, though I have never had a membership. From the previews it looks as if the site is going to be filled with hunky, straight, college-enrolled men, doing dirty stuff to each other in the name of earning cold hard cash. Hot, right? Oh, dearest readers... WRONG! So, so wrong.

Let's start by just breaking down the name of the site; STRAIGHT. COLLEGE. MEN.

Straight? That's debatable. Maybe they were straight, but in my humble opinion, you stop being straight when you start sucking cock. (Save all the "labels are a construct of our society" emails. I don't care. If you are eatin' cum... you are not straight.)

College? None of these men appear to be enrolled in any college... nor do they even seem the right age. While the site purports to portray them as in their early 20's, I would place them in their late 20's and early 30's.

Men? Yeah... we'll give them that one. They do have penises... however nonfunctional they prove to be.

The idea behind the site is genius, however the execution falls flat. It seems to be the approach of the "director"/cameraman to "force" the boys to engage in sexual situations for large amounts of cash. This is not only phony looking, but a major turn-off.

Director: "I will give you $1,000 to lick his cock for 15-seconds."
Actor: "Ewwwww... that's a long time." (Then sucks the limp cock for about 5 seconds and makes lots of gagging noises and spits a lot like he has wool in his mouth. NOT HOT.)

Am I the only one who actually wants to see a sex act for more than 5-seconds? And frankly we all know you are gonna chow down on that cock little fag-boy, so why not quit bitching about it in a homophobic way and just pucker up? Who finds this shit hot?

When the men finally do get down to getting naked there is more limp dick than at a nursing home pool party. Oh... I get it... these boys can't get hard because they're straight! LAME.

In one video there are 5 guys going at it on a bed... not a single one gets an erection for over 30 minutes. Bad editing? Niche fetish? Someone forgot the Viagra? Whatever the deal... it is sad to watch. But I tend to weep for limp penises.

The individual men are sometimes beautiful, sometimes skanky (ingrown butt hairs! ewww). There seems to be some military crossover, and definitely a few guys who appear to have been taken off the street and cleaned up for video. Rocky is totally fucking hot if you like hairless muscle. Dean would be hot if he shut his homophobic piehole more than just when he is sucking cock/rimming ass/eating cum.

Personally, I like my men to like each other enough to get hard. The 7-Day trial cost me $35. Not worth a penny of it.

STRAIGHT COLLEGE MEN can be found at 2scm.com

Your dirty uncle can be found on twitter! twitter.com/UNCLEDIRTY

ANYTHING BUT A HOTMESS713

2008-09-05T00:07:00.000-07:00

Oh my stars! Would you look at how that boy plunges that dildo so deep into his tight little pucker? That, fair friends is true love!

Your dirty uncle can be found on twitter! twitter.com/UNCLEDIRTY

Welcome to my blog...

2008-09-03T10:37:00.000-07:00

This blog has grown out of a desire to write about and review all things dirty.

Uncle Dirty originated on another web site and was abruptly dumped when some uptight anal-retentive members started complaining. It seems that Uncle Dirty's policy of being completely honest and open in reviewing establishments like sex clubs, porno stores and businesses/events of that ilk was more than they could abide. Thus, Uncle Dirty was unceremoniously booted and has been living in quiet... UNTIL NOW.

I have been asked to repost some of my old reviews and in due time I will get to them. What I would really like now is to hear from you;

Where should Uncle Dirty go next?
What do you want Uncle Dirty to review?

Some of you out there know my true identity. I implore you to keep it to yourselves. Just as with any critic, anonymity is one of the keys to my success. So let's keep it our secret.

I look forward to keeping you up to date on all things DIRTY!

Your dirty uncle can be found on twitter! twitter.com/UNCLEDIRTY

WHOA, THAT ASS IS MUSCLEART

2008-09-03T00:33:00.000-07:00

In my never-ending quest to find the perfect fuckable ass I do extensive video research. I nearly melted into the floor when I found this clip.

I would climb between that gentleman's legs and rim him until my tongue went numb. Watch as he poses, flexes and teases with his beautiful, full round muscle ass.

Your dirty uncle can be found on twitter! twitter.com/UNCLEDIRTY

THE ANEROS MGX

2008-09-02T01:02:00.000-07:00

I find sex toys fascinating. Personally, I don't tend to need any toys beyond my hands and cock... however different strokes for different folks dear reader! Live and let cum!

As far as shoving something that looks like the virgin Mary praying over a butterknife up my ass? Not too sure about that one, friends.

From the website:

Newly redesigned, the MGX is a medically researched and designed device that works in harmony with your body’s own movements. It stimulates both the prostate and the perineum in a rhythmic motion that builds up to unprecedented male orgasms. The MGX is easy to use and fulfilling for both the beginner and the expert, with progressively rewarding exercises and experiences.

The MGX is well balanced with a ribbed stem for anal canal stimulation and stability. The perineum tab provides an external prostate massage through the perineum.

Since I have not used the product myself, I offer this testimonial from someone who has:

Just when I thought I couldn’t get any harder (almost starting to hurt), the MGX jumped into high gear and started banging into me like a jackhammer. HOLY SHIT! Oh my GOD! I’m surprised nobody heard me. I was moaning like a mad man! Wave after wave of pleasure soared up from my groin, across my back, over my chest, down my arms, and across my face. Over and over and over! Wave after wave! Damn, it was incredible! It wouldn’t stop! Not that I wanted it to! It had to last at least a full minute. WOW!

Thank you, thank you, and thank you!

This is the best sexual experience I’ve had in a long time. Hell, I’m over 50 and have had open-heart surgery! After my surgery my erections weren’t as firm and I was feeling a little old/inadequate! You guys out there over fifty know what I’m talking about. I actually got a hard on this morning soaping up in the shower. Now that hasn’t happened since I was in my twenties. By the way I never did masturbate and cum. I’m not sure why, I just didn’t want to. Still haven’t!

Well... maybe there IS something to this whole toy craze!

You can get yours at aneros.com

THE SNAKECHARMER!

2008-09-01T00:28:00.000-07:00

Normally I like to put a video right into the blog here, so I ignore any videos I am not allowed to embed. This, fair reader is an exception!

Watch as this guy works a cock just like a snakecharmer coaxing a cobra out of a straw basket. What this dude can do at a gloryhole is amazing. And wait for the cumshot!

Your dirty uncle can be found on twitter! twitter.com/UNCLEDIRTY

OH FUCKETTY FUCK!

2008-08-30T00:54:00.000-07:00

It's Mark Dalton posing on webcam. Look at the luscious little ass, tight pink pucker and thick muscled back. Good gracious! I'm swooning!

Your dirty uncle can be found on twitter! twitter.com/UNCLEDIRTY

RUMP OF THE WEEK

2008-08-29T09:00:00.000-07:00

Nothing like dipping your fingers into the sugarbowl right on the kitchen floor! Wowee!

Do you want to be RUMP OF THE WEEK? Send in your photos today!

COCKWORTHY13 INDEED!

2008-08-29T00:12:00.000-07:00

Well how about that? A sideways smile on that boy. Now, those of you who know Uncle Dirty, know that uncle Dirty loves a hot little slutty bottom boy. Just look at how this young'n spreads his ass cheeks to show off his tight little button!

Your dirty uncle can be found on twitter! twitter.com/UNCLEDIRTY

YES YOU ARE THATSTUD101!

2008-08-27T00:18:00.000-07:00

Who doesn't enjoy a good bathroom stroke every now and then. I do. So does this kid. Watch as he manhandles his eager young dick.

Your dirty uncle can be found on twitter! twitter.com/UNCLEDIRTY

OH MARCO! I WANNA FLIPANDSTICK!

2008-08-16T00:43:00.000-07:00

What a glorious day for a hot piece of latin bodybuilder ass!

Your dirty uncle can be found on twitter! twitter.com/UNCLEDIRTY

UNCLE DIRTY LOVES KEVIN76

2008-08-06T00:01:00.000-07:00

Yes, yes, yes. This, dear readers is what your Uncle Dirty loves to see; a thick, masculine man who loves to beat his meat into a frothy mess! Huzzah!

Your dirty uncle can be found on twitter! twitter.com/UNCLEDIRTY