STRAIGHT COLLEGE MEN (Yeah, right!)

I have been a fan of STRAIGHT COLLEGE MEN for a while, though I have never had a membership. From the previews it looks as if the site is going to be filled with hunky, straight, college-enrolled men, doing dirty stuff to each other in the name of earning cold hard cash. Hot, right? Oh, dearest readers... WRONG! So, so wrong.

Let's start by just breaking down the name of the site; STRAIGHT. COLLEGE. MEN.

Straight? That's debatable. Maybe they were straight, but in my humble opinion, you stop being straight when you start sucking cock. (Save all the "labels are a construct of our society" emails. I don't care. If you are eatin' cum... you are not straight.)

College? None of these men appear to be enrolled in any college... nor do they even seem the right age. While the site purports to portray them as in their early 20's, I would place them in their late 20's and early 30's.

Men? Yeah... we'll give them that one. They do have penises... however nonfunctional they prove to be.

The idea behind the site is genius, however the execution falls flat. It seems to be the approach of the "director"/cameraman to "force" the boys to engage in sexual situations for large amounts of cash. This is not only phony looking, but a major turn-off.

Director: "I will give you $1,000 to lick his cock for 15-seconds."
Actor: "Ewwwww... that's a long time." (Then sucks the limp cock for about 5 seconds and makes lots of gagging noises and spits a lot like he has wool in his mouth. NOT HOT.)

Am I the only one who actually wants to see a sex act for more than 5-seconds? And frankly we all know you are gonna chow down on that cock little fag-boy, so why not quit bitching about it in a homophobic way and just pucker up? Who finds this shit hot?

When the men finally do get down to getting naked there is more limp dick than at a nursing home pool party. Oh... I get it... these boys can't get hard because they're straight! LAME.

In one video there are 5 guys going at it on a bed... not a single one gets an erection for over 30 minutes. Bad editing? Niche fetish? Someone forgot the Viagra? Whatever the deal... it is sad to watch. But I tend to weep for limp penises.

The individual men are sometimes beautiful, sometimes skanky (ingrown butt hairs! ewww). There seems to be some military crossover, and definitely a few guys who appear to have been taken off the street and cleaned up for video. Rocky is totally fucking hot if you like hairless muscle. Dean would be hot if he shut his homophobic piehole more than just when he is sucking cock/rimming ass/eating cum.

Personally, I like my men to like each other enough to get hard. The 7-Day trial cost me $35. Not worth a penny of it.

STRAIGHT COLLEGE MEN can be found at 2scm.com

Your dirty uncle can be found on twitter! twitter.com/UNCLEDIRTY